A growing archive of red meat comic strips, updated weekly.

fistulous fountain of fun [new] haplessly hurled humor hunks soft soap for hard times misery's feed trough beelzebub's bath scrub hogwash undertow skim milk for weak tea viscose veil of vapidity misshapen humor extrusion green fur on the comedy loaf pine box peep show drool spot on comedy's cravat it's over when you say "uncle" brine-soaked gobbets of fun paroxysm of pure paltriness jaunty songs for a ponderous slog ballast tank for the subpar leaky humor dinghy regatta full throttle roiling twaddle potter's field of dreams caterwaul from the culvert mirth's "returns" counter toy poodle in the wolf pack metaphysics for the mordant salty seasonal solicitations threadbare sweater vest of solace jaundiced jeers of jubilation perforatd pontoons of perspicacity posthumous buggy whipping rickety plywood humor ramp blurry beacon of bemusement dour dust mites of desolation wanton waste of wonderment pecliarity's prodigious punctilio tousled tuft of temerity sandpaper superslide ponderous mirth burden glory road sinkhole pulsating petri dish of peril underberry top note redeye to anhedonia hell ride backseat driver majestic beard of hornets bagpipe cottage cheese ear-flick sonata rust-caked rivets of routine moldering maw of mirthlessness rumpled, mirth-stained overalls interminable tree sloth battle the soured stench of senescence relentless beat of the humdrum gelatinous globules of glee sandpaper second skin execration's reliquary honeywagon joyride occam's strop butter biscuits for the biomass lorem ipsum striated sinews of spite grape-flavored venom two-handed humor haft boxing gloves for bad mittens luxurious bath in the aftermath mirth's hastily-applied undercoating relentless regatta of rhyme cumbersome curds of contrivance nostril napkins for the nosey awkward accoutrements of audacity tomorrow's tedium today polypous puffs of peril protracted amusement inversion tiresome titter trek hopeless hilarity hunt unpalatable lacquered apples capricious casserole of calamity sordidly shaken sleet globe borne up from the broth beelzebub's blackened breadstuff pecking order puncture wounds festering feast of foreboding moldering morsels for thought sticky, discarded mirth wrapper dreary dreadnought of drollery desultory detour into despondency enthusiasm nullification device futuristic fudge pit unsolicited switchblade scrimshaw metaphysics for the mordant persistent pull of the peripheral seven layer sodium cake doomsday's child downslide lubricant spent humor cartridge gestural ornithology musky miasma of mirth board game blisters sunny side of the sinkhole picking at laugh scabs perdition's oven mitt death match do-over obsolescence's observation deck fun extraction pump taut tether of trauma hunkered down in the hopseed jaundiced jackfruit of jocularity moist mementos of the mundane ordure polishing chamois laryngitic launch zone humor's hand-tooled harness turgescent tuber of tedium barrel-bottom bathysphere wankery's wet nurse rechargeable goosebump shaver elegantly upholstered unpleasantness sparingly spattered sputum acerbic annotations for the agnostic pinking shear tracheotomy pant-load weigh station pieced together from excavated comedy shards the frenetic flapping of freshly flensed flukes phenetic phoneme phalanx butter pats for the culture heap tarlike tidbits on the floor mat of futility languid limpets of lethargy buzzard-stripped frontier humor furbishing the flaps of flummery neotenic netherworld of the namby-pamby shriveled conifer of despondence restive rivulets of revulsion dour dumplings of desperation doldrum and bugle corps feckless foray into the fundament burgeoning badinage blight rosy-hued retrograde rehash monotone poem rubberized road to rapture jimmied jamb of jocularity reenacted flabbergast spasm diluted droplets of drollery brussel sprout ball gag still waiting for a beep from the handheld humor detector still-twitching humor gobbets wisp-like welts of wonderment belt-mounted effluvium creel pungent slug unguent timorous titters of tomfoolery pumping the air back into despair detritus interruptus comedogenic comedy cream makeshift manubrial miter box jackknife nosedive soap slivers for the great unwashed prescription-strength comedy reliever harvested squeezings from mirth's most infected pore accordianist filets in your concertina wire polychromatic peacock pulp single-dose gravy ampule precariously posited punctilio salivary hot plate ballet the tumescent teat of torpor the leathered mutton of drollery memory's amber-tinged residue clown clumps in your calliope hand-hewn from fossilized pap debilitating nodal poke broken dream shard mosaic modacrylic pelt trading post potshot apocrypha humor's perennial hiatus the rancid rennet of rancor overturned school bus on memory lane adorned with airborne corn cloven hooves on your clapboards mordant motes of mirth mouthful of molten muck siphoninh off your cephalopods safely ensconced in a gossamer cocoon of ennui rust-colored rivulets of regret sleek annealed leech tweezers forty-foot high yuletidal wave sugar-encrusted holiday polyps haplessly hurled humor hunks zeitgeist scheiss geyser pilgrimage to the puerile cavalcade of the unremarkable flop sweat shirt squeezings frothing fudge foramen ham-handedly hogtied hopes tiresomeness' teleological treatise oily fritter for your slavering critter brass hats for knuckleheads toy poodle in the wolf pack punctilio for the piper strategic sidekick sacrifice the briny reek of beached humor poorly drawn by billy, age 8 fully sundered funny bone proctological sunshine extractor rototiller reveille for the rooster humor's homely half-sister mirth-encrusted mullions on the moribund prelude to an interlude remorseless retailer of the retrograde rendering both horse and rider ribbed reticle of redundancy pallid, bloated groats in the soaking bowl hellish hail of molten mirth fully-accredited crap dojo field guide to the underside levitation by uppercut pock-marked by hot grommets distended humor sac slowly milked by thrips two-and-a-half-inch denture screws turgid tonsil of tedium boiler slag bouillon rumpled radicchio of ruefulness universal humor solvent tarpaper dispenser refill cartridge cursed humor burial grounds dour dustbunnies of desolation puling pleas from the portcullis fire hose ablutions suspiciously scabrous bacon bits the essence of putrescence slaughterhousekeeper hate the throw-up, but not the throw-upper bone-shattering backflip blunder gelatin flooring for your wiggle room assert it -- don't squirt it fulgent firefly frittata mauled lang syne festive flotilla of yule logs tales from the jingle-jangle jungle spittle-specked pulpit of pith doddering docent of the dreary brackish brine from the brink match-lit laugh-repellant coil puckered piehole of the pointless the most unimportant comic strip you will ever half-heartedly glance at slapped-on crap impasto furbished flotilla of the feeble leguminous potation collywobbles beelzebub's bath scrub hilarity's half-life spent humor cartridge repugnance's twin sister heartland defibrillator paroxysm of pure paltriness funnybone ossuary extirpated jollity enclave transmogrification of the torpid hand-crocheted cozies for your vestigial flippers surfeited by the stench of casserole gestural ornithology marzipan minaret of the metaphysic sputum-speckled splendor dirt clods for dust bunnies fuzz-dappled slice from the moldy load of hilarity salt lick for the sinister sputtering squib of the squandered band saw manicure man-spoor on your deep-pile bun onions for your carb uncle mentis fugit puckered punum of perspicacity soup skins for top-feeders cheese wheel hub cap boll weevils in your back forty quiescent quagmire of the quotidian turbid tales of the tepid tirelessly tilling the topsoil of tedium telltale sore on the lip of mirth mustard mints for picnic breath outsized underthing infestation death match do-over humor burns on your leatherette the pearlescent pincers of pudency sun-rotted lawn chair of levity dimple cheese extractor waxen comedy prosthesis interminable cacophone solo subsumed by spirochetes hilarity's hidey-hole tinseled tabernacle of torpor the rapturous rubric of redaction potluck for the polyphagous mordant musk of the misbegotten maximum strength chuckle remover textured linens for your comedy bedsores moldering molecules of mirth extra-chunky ethereal emesis anti-gravitas field generator woeful wonderland of waggery the jaundiced jackfruit of jocularity perforated by the pecking order the rotted remains of your rarebit redeye to anhedonia the sunny side of the sinkhole guardrail breach at the humor precipice vector-borne vacuity plaque-encrusted humor valve clogged humor pore humor replacement surgery upside to the inevitable downslide bum's rush to hurry the hoboes glutinous gruel for the gaunt quail eggs for the quislings forcible forays into fecklessness the mossy mandibles of mundanity calcium-crusted humor stalactite fast-acting panacea antidote plastic footwear stench incubator a hearty tug on mediocrity's milk-teat lapels in the lycanthrope leavings the rubbery roe of regret driftwood in your dungarees synchronized slapdashery bubble bath baptismal fungal fritter frybasket stepping stone to stultification diplomatic picayunity fingernails in the fudge bites chicken pox pie itch-fighting cortex ointment overinflated undercushions wrinkled wrapper of wretchedness corncobs in your cummerbund mercilessly protracted tuba solo menially modulated mirth surreal politik pocket-sized humor inhaler apparatchik hat trick nourishing nectar nubbins bastardry's bread basket tedium's telltale topography jagged junk heap of jollities carbon-based crapulence swift kick rib tickler turgescent tuber of tedium hickory burns on your rotunda peerless panopticon of the paltry pearlescent pustular penumbra humor-encrusted poleax mediocrity's milking stool the dimpled rind of remorselessness puerility's pommel horse jaundiced jerky of jocularity lukewarm guano sampler pointillistic portraits in puerility fistulous fountain of fun brine barrel bathysphere forbidden fruit cocktail lethargy's landing strip dust-encrusted chuckles from mirth's ossuary drool spot on comedy's cravat rusted-out rheostat of regret perdition's oven mitt tepid gruel for thought impromptu saliva bath laugh gravy on your tickle bib the languid milkteat of lethargy tangerines in your tailpipe needlenose nostril thread barnacles on your buttercups frosting on your fried fatback impromptu pantaloon fusillade freshly-picked laugh scabs levity's waterboard distorted peephole into a bleak beyond gravy-stained muumuu of despair salon-formulated saddle softener glimmering humor mirage silt-choked comedy nozzle bedeviled by bejeezus unanimous crap mandate seething hotbed of the ho-hum crumpling cardboard crescendo the moist chuckle of chainsaws oozing comedy sore headlock nepotism mirth's tattered hand-me-downs breach in your bilge boots loving caresses to humor's leathery gray undercarriage misery's feed trough disheartening dungaree download sparging sputum spillway spittle foam in your bon mot tin cupful of tepid chowder heat-and-serve nihilism dump truck motorcade trouser-load weight station rumpled rodeo of regret bite-mark festoonery fleabag feeding frenzy buoyant flotsam in an ocean of hurt more porridge for the engorged unplugged comedy respirator sausages in your sarcophagus bone-deep paper cut iron-on rough patch belt-mounted effluvium creel infected humor gland suddenly...the sidewalk plaited hairball extensions rubber duck for your bathos soft soap for hard times the chin strap on your skullcap pumice patch on the slip-n-slide underdone overkill aftermath your hellride backseat driver protracted laugh famine waxy residue on the self-adhesive vinyl flooring of your dreams liquid corn for the recently born synthetic pelt trading post threadbare tapestry of titters pantload ididerod pieced together from excavated comedy shards cardboard fence for a styrofoam utopia wind-chime of the apocalypse the linoleum lapels on your tarpaper tuxedo pickle juice spritzer buttery bolus of blubber spaceborne slurry of futuristic fudge guttersnipe finishing school ballast tank for the subpar busfare to nowhere klingons in your globular cluster woodchucks in the wainscoting infected humor gland humor that relents once you say "uncle" carefully-stroked beard of hornets double your pressure, double your funk heaping spoonful of armageddon-O's malingering in your own musk oil jackknife nosedive encrusted with dried humor granules confessions of a hypoplasic cerebrum cinder block tetherball puling pleas from the portcullis barbed wire bunting glistening cluster of comedy roe mordant amusements for gentlefolke sanitary and delicious

rooty-toot tout le monde la bande dessineé la plus populaire de france lucifer's screwdriver safely ensconced in a gossamer cocoon of ennui mud flap on your manubrium contemplating the corncob scrofula skittleball overgrown spite trellis glistening patina of spittle soap scum for the great unwashed jagged comedy debris bunions in your bacon bits olive-drab laugh bivouac nematodes in your napery standard-issue laugh rations something warm for the whelps colorless croquettes for chromophobes hogtied with velvet duct tape non-nutritive humor-flavored paste randomly-strewn laugh scraps reenacted flabbergast spasm jagged junkpile of jocularity bucketload of wriggling chucklebait plowshares into polyester dockside scrod barrage nicked and grazed by wafers catastrophic comedy cave-in riders on the longhorn shortbus one more hill in the humor landfill moist sod for your hogan the fluttering fringe of fecklnessness yellowed yarns from yesteryear suction pump for leotard lather asphalt bellyflop fiberglass waffles for unwanted houseguests lichen-flecked leprechaun leavings strategic sidekick sacrifice dumplings in the deep end wafting whiffs of whatnot squeezings from the pore of doom wrinkled raisins of redaction suctioned funnybone marrow fourth-rater by a third grader luxuriant longhorn lather oily shavings from the humor grindery sputtering spigot of spite the splintery porch swing of despair first stand at fort surrender polychromatic peacock pulp wriggling humbug larvae teeth and nails when all else fails accordian player chunks in your concertina wire buoyant biscuits for bedwetters forbidden-style funnybone snap buzzard-picked frontier humor the twirling toupee of temerity cesspool sippy straw pocket-sized miasma inhaler hull breach in the gravy boat chalkboard sonata surgically-precise slapdashery harvested squeezings from mirth's most irritated pore purulent polyps in your pulque the lowest setting on wit's dimmer switch ribcage xylophone buttered peas for the ill-at-ease forbidden fruit cocktail tramp steamer in your soup kitchen brain stem in the bud vase virulent laugh pathogen tinkle bell of the unthinkable less fun than a barrel full of infected, biting monkeys humor-impaired squared perpetually polishing the big zero single-dose gravy ampule humming hive of the half-hearted horse track flapjacks shimmering strips of sinew picnic-sized laugh repellant candle the crinkley caress of crenulated crevice clips sausages in your slipstream caramel bar molar removal nine-foot-long outhouse ladle tarnished brass laugh snuffer mirth-tinged monotony who's complaining? I only paid the kid a quarter to draw this strip ointment-dipped orthopedic overalls blood clot in your garden hose the tickle of asphalt on the sagging belly of your lowered expectations weatherproof stripping on the doorjamb of mediocrity glittering saliva chinstrap noxious zephyr from the humor cannery .44 caliber bargain hunters adorned with airborne corn miasmic molasses for the masses headfirst into the hobart porcupine pelt pillow yellow jacket petting zoo discontentment's seed pod new uses for spent juices tick-and-tapeworm parade whey and mange the pine-stench of jingle rot prescription-strength comedy reliever salivary hot plate ballet scouring the scraps from comedy's casserole dish one-way ticket to torpor nibbling at the nubs of nihilism the griddle that spits back peanuts on the poop deck tedious tales of tomorrow marked by the musk of misery beetle bits in your bran flakes damp dirt for the dearly departed interminable onslaught of offal that solid waste aftertaste crawdads in your crab grass gristle-encrusted filter on the humor generator vinegaroons in your ventilation maggoty morsels of misanthropy salivary stock for septic stew dirt carrots for dust bunnies pointy papules for the populace sputum-speckled splendor something sour in the squirt gun pungent unguent for stump-itch distended humor extruder the catsup bottle in your wine rack bulbous benzine bubblegum blisters rubber duck tub cudgel head cheese on a knuckle sandwich milk toast for pantywaists butterstick barricade filigreed flotsam of fanciness let's be honest... my kid draws like crap pocked with hot grommets moldering melon-balls of mirth cherubs with chest hair four flopping flats on your funmobile sizeable sips from the sputum spigot trilobite tracks on your teleological treatise dainty doo-dads for the despondent more poured-on ordure glistening spleen in the soup tureen unplanned bathtub logjam non-skid trouser kickplate horse-whipped with a goatskin cat-o'-nine-tails hand-pumped silt frpm the once-rich wellspring of humor baptism of fiber non-addictive humor substitute mr. darwin's neighborhood fruits of the sluice the tumescent teat of torpor creme filling for hollow victories leaky humorous waste containment cannister glad tightenings and seasonal greasings golden corn for the old and worn bench-tooled laugh leather neoplasmic nodule necklace hand-hewn from fossilized pap autopsy-turvy nebulous nibs of nutriment massive otter spill at the oil refinery undergrid brown out exfoliated by piranhas inspected by number twelve the dainty snap of a butterfly trap burnin' ring of fiber fur clog in the sausage grinder sinus affliction double feature suction-pump laugh vacuum upholsterer of the swollen trouser mite pleat infestation one picture is worth a thousand welts face down in the fondue rutilant rugburn raspberries jumbo scoop of raw shrimp sorbet banana seats for grease monkeys mating meal of the mantid rainbow-flecked mandrill mulch mercilessly mired in mayonnaise carelessly flung mud puppy chum underskin overhead afterbite boiled alive in your own butterscotch fully-accredited crap dojo jackhammered funnybone powder poorly drawn by billy, age 8 dropping like bug-sprayed tree sloths bloated groats in the oat-soaking bowl rock-hard abdominal cramps crippling funnybone arthritis tornado trailer park makeover rust-rotted rainbow of regret perdition's pemmican pouch minuscule flyspeck spatula scented aspirin for perfume headaches hi-octane shlock vapor lock nibbled to death by marmosets something ripe in the bagpipe spring-loaded ribcage tickler lincoln logs on the roosevelt recliner hopped up on what you mopped up firmly fastened to the milk sac of misanthropy birds picking while you're still kicking glutinous glop in your galligaskins jingle-jangle exit wound blackwatch plaid stump cover mouthful of molten muck zeitgeist scheiss geyser unplugged humor respirator flat-handed cactus slap blister juice spritzer trowelled-on laugh line spackle fricative fundament fulmination food for thoughtlessness hand-crocheted cozies for your vestigial flippers teeny-tiny tadpole tether pencilnecks on the poop deck gas-powered rainforest wood seal club eighteen-wheel cross country truculence acrid alimentary astringent your permanent seat on the shortbus jalapeño suppository steering mechanism perfectly palatable protein pulp ineluctable bile duct gusher rusted re-reb in your rumpus room panoramic pageant of poop testing tedium's tensile strength hands across the bandsaw luxuriant, deep-pile carpet bombing when the residue comes due therapeutic body-temp sump dunk shimmering summit of the so-so on the tippy-toes of tastelessness fruit-flavored floor wax comedy's malformed twin tarpaper in the tissue dispenser flensing the flopping flanks of fun effluvium dunk-tank protracted full-body tweezer depiliation the lukewarm lather of lethargy scraping the roe from the slit-open belly of comedy carpet knife nerve glissando taut tapestry of tendons the glistening globules of glee halfheartedly flung onto the fun heap bubbling bilge pump bisque the redolent remnants of roughage whipstitch ligament fix heart-shaped patch on the quilt of inappropriateness the faded stains of meager gains the mouldering mounds of mirth jackhammer chiropractic vapo-rub in your margarine tub the delicate dew drops of disgust honey wagon hayride lukewarm juices with no excuses wetness and warmth for wussies handsome strap-on orthopedic comic strip palpably pointless payload countertop tapeworm dispenser finger food for the fatuous dutch rub on your nether lands nutricious nectar nodules two-and-a-half-inch denture screws backflip from the balcony the watery whey of whimsy horse-whip strap lather sand dollars for the dirt-poor sandpaper backrub the tone-arm of turbidity that solid waste after taste the buckling beams of your hopes and dreams the wet carpet treatment the golden annointment of sheer disappointment mysterious mound on your mantelpiece the ebullient egg-sac of ennui gravy-stained laugh remnants scotch tape for a cardboard utopia the chitinous coating of your cares open wider for the magic cider moldering mementos of merriment paragon of pointlessness tedium's oaken tent pole sun-bleached stripes on the big top of banality tepid tureen of taint the rippling rugae of recompense pocket-size butterfly wing clippers festering on the fringes of finitude the mellifluous milk of monotony manifold mosaic of the mundane clenched to the bursting point baked bean bubble bath perdition's pogo stick army man and your navy beans red carpet rug burn increasingly frequent forays into flaccidity hellish hail of molten mirth decay sera sera razorblade whirlygig hand-tooled leather support brace on the burly back of bastardry retro-fitting for the unwitting mediocrity's chocolatey flotilla overlarge underplug afterburn gristle-clog in the ham juicer comedy's cauterized stump comedy carrion for laugh scavengers the crinkley caress of crenulated crevice clips the brownish splatters on all that matters the beckoning aperture of dismay the beneficient bosom of blasé oversized chuckle suppository for the chronically unamused the squirting squids of squalor doddering docent to the museum of misanthropy tundra clump under-scrub glistening suction cups on the headboard of hebetude nourishing nuggets of nether nougat inappropriate feelings toward the skin peelings dirt clods in your fuel rods wrinkled knee on the leotards of lethargy skid marks on your skullcap more porridge for the engorged first dibs on the last rites the velvet tips on your underclips rotten egg incubator step stool of stagnation pulverized funnybone jelly piston-powered puerility bad vibes from misery's marimba ultra-cruel head fuel plastic fruit for a starving nation the wobbly wheels of wonder a hearty tug on reality's milk-teat oing! now that's a comic strip mirth...in a jiffy underblast afterburn gravity's pull when your cavity's full the sniffling snoot of sneapery head first into the hardpan tossing corn cobs into the maw of uncertainty quarter-ton bumpercar the catsup bottle in your wine rack the barnacle-encrusted bilge pump on your sunken dreams the wet snap of an oiled strap it's not just awful...it's god-awful teethmarks in your upholstery pit lather and gravy stains microwave pet carrier touched by an anvil the doleful mewling of freshly-weened wussies somersault into the asphalt self-inflicted corduroy blisters woodchucks in the wainscoting mucilage in your fuselage relentlessly serenaded by dancing chimney sweeps pungent unguent for stump-itch pinking shear tracheotomy droppings on your outcroppings massive otter spill at the oil refinery hell-bent for naugahyde do-it-yourself lunchmeat slinky blister balm for bottle blowers flamenco-style fingernail removal bite-mark festoonery still-steaming spite-squeezings stick ponies for staff people the antidote for pleasant moments product-free cruelty high-strung herald of the haphazard comedy as old and flaccid, yet still as funny as grandma's arm flaps bunched-up under-cluster the staccato drone of spontaneous monotony knuckle-bone skid marks the flat tire on your inner journey gargling with the goulash nine-foot-long outhouse ladle pedal-powered stink generator butter-side-down in the diaper bucket snapped axle on the wonder wagon runaway thresher at the puppy farm face first into the furnace impromptu saliva bath itch-fighting cortex ointment awakened by the smell of casserole buoyant flotsam in an ocean of hurt dump truck motorcade the telltale tickle of tape worms the moist chuckle of chain saws seventy miles per into the brick wall of mirth half-hearted sips from the sagging udder of boredom rusty corkscrew acupuncture the dimpled rind of remorselessness portable backyard sinkhole butterfly appliqués on the sliding glass door of doom bendy-straw for spitoon guzzlers apocalypso facto drool string ukelele shipwrecked voyage of discovery bio-booster battle booties the white-hot cure for sticky valves scabrous skivvy scrapings bitter mug of nether nog pigeon pudding in your propellor dirt-flavored mouthwash wriggling grunion in your slipstream soothing salve for your intake valve strip-mined comedy ore turbo-powered tedium hood-mounted carcass spatula a hearty slap on your mud-flap forbidden fruit cocktail glitter in your gruel sweetbreads for bottom feeders spinning turrets of pure spite the humor dial's lowest setting corncob harmonica serenade industrial waste of time dancing spit on the griddle naptime on the railroad tracks hatchet-job afterglow sweat beads on your inner needs ball bearings in the butter tub non-prescription pep remedy your skull smells awful frying bacon in the bedpan polyester slacks museum sucker punch in the gut bucket bite marks on the naugahide hot buttered fungus swift kick rib tickler something strange in the squirt gun sausages for hostages fifty megaton stinkbomb shower from the clocktower the official pace car for the apocalypse gabriel's spit trap the business side of doublewide squirming grubs in the dirt of destiny face-down in the deep end sermon-free humor the unlightable bareness of meat field guide to the underside the unmistakable splatter of rotten mellons