Find Stories by Max Cannon

Browse by:

Category: Red Meat100 Newsfinger11

Year: 20221 20148 20148 20111 20091 0100

Popularity: Most Viewed Most Commented On Most Shared

Trending

Recent Articles

  • pint-sized pustular penumbra
  • pint-sized pustular penumbra

      Spectacular meteor shower...eh, son? I guess so. I just don't see why we have to wear these goofy lookin' helmets. The odds of one of those meteors hittin' us are a billion to one. True. But you'll be thankful for the head protection once we drain the rest of this bottle of Kentucky's finest 'meteor juice.'
    • Tags: , , ,
  • industrial grade chuckle remover
  • industrial grade chuckle remover

      Gosh, Mr. Bix...I need to move my new couch up the stairs to my apartment. I sure could use your robotic strength. Interesting request. Will assisting you with this task lead to a casual camaraderie that may eventually form a bond of friendship? Yeah...I guess it could. Excellent! In my convivial exuberance, I keep accidentally crushing the heads of all the 'new friends' that I make. Perhaps this time will be different. Please step closer to me, Johnny. I'd dearly love to embrace your cranium.
    • Tags: , , ,
  • telltale sore on the lip of mirth
  • telltale sore on the lip of mirth

      So what's the big holdup? Are you getting into bed with me or not? Give me a minute, darling. I have to get into character. It's not that complicated, Ted. You're pretending to be the Incredible Hulk. Hey, now...people don't usually talk to Hulk in such a sarcastic fashion. Well, 'people' are not wearing an itchy gorilla costume. I still don't get why I can't just wear a bikini or something. I've already explained it to you. In a moment of passion, Hulk might crush a human female like a styrofoam cup.
    • Tags: , , ,
  • notarized decorum waiver
  • notarized decorum waiver

      You know that old sayin' they got about buildin' a better mousetrap? Well, I been workin' on it all day. One thing's for sure. It ain't a high speed blender, a couple hunks of gouda, and a miniature ladder.
    • Tags: , ,
  • rent reticulum of ridiculousness
  • rent reticulum of ridiculousness

      I don't know about you, but I get at least a couple'a these religious types knockin' at my front door every week. I used'ta invite 'em inside, but I don't got that luxury no more. That chain link holdin' pen in the basement is already full to the top.
    • Tags: , ,

© 2022 Max Cannon | powered by Foundation