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tiresome titter trek tiresome titter trek July 20, 2021

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  • tiresome titter trek
  • tiresome titter trek

      So this movie is actually based on some cartoon show from when you were a little kid, Dad? Yep, it used to be I couldn't wait to jump out of bed bright and early on Saturday morning to watch it. It must be cool for you to see it done in 3D computer animation. Not really. We were so whacked out on sugar and chemical food additives back then, we would've been mesmerized by a swatch of decorative floral wallpaper. Well, that explains the shirts you wear.
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  • contemplating the corncob
  • contemplating the corncob

      Glad you stopped by, Johnny. I need to dump a truckload of dirt and I sure could use your help. I can pay you ten dollars. Well, I can sure use the money. What would you want me to do? I'd like you to stand in the bottom of that narrow pit over there with a shovel while I back the truck up to the edge. That's all? That doesn't sound like ten dollars worth of work. You might feel differently after digging yourself out from under nine feet of dirt.
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  • tepid gruel for thought
  • tepid gruel for thought

      Hello, Son! How'd you like summer camp this year? I wouldn't know. No bus ever came after you dropped me off in this supermarket parking lot. I've been having to bum change so I could eat. Wow. And sorry if I smell, but I haven't had a shower. Seeing as I've been sleeping in a cardboard box behind a dumpster for a week. You know...your mother thought you weren't ready for 'panhandling camp' this year, but it sounds like it made a man of you.
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  • low-hanging fruit salad
  • low-hanging fruit salad

      I've been feelin' lucky lately, so's I been enterin' every contest I can find—in the mail, at stores, and buyin' lotto tickets. I won this one contest yesterday to win an old lady's suitcase at the bus station. I'm lyin'. I actually stole it.
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  • fleabag feeding frenzy
  • fleabag feeding frenzy

      I can't go to the beach looking like this, Sweetheart. Maybe you and the kids should go ahead without me. Don't be a child, Ted. So maybe you've put on a few pounds. Nobody's going to care...it's the beach, not a beauty contest. I suppose you're right, Dear. I mean, if you're not self conscious about those lumpy saddlebags on your thighs, why am I making a big deal out of a little gut? Unpack the car, kids! We're all spending the weekend at home for your father's funeral.
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