-
Comics,
Red Meat
Oct 6, 2015
-
-
-
By Max Cannon
- Good god, Ted... was that you that screamed a minute ago? I didn't mean to scare you, babe. I'm all better now. Did you hurt yourself? Hey — why is that bath water black? It's not water — it's root beer. When I first slid into it, the effervescent mixture of delight and agony was nearly unbearable.
- Tags: Ted Johnson, Ted's Wife
-
Comics,
Red Meat
Dec 1, 2015
-
-
-
By Max Cannon
- Seriously, Karen. Don't you ever get the feeling that there's got to be more to life than the nonstop, hellish cruelty that you and I visit upon each other day after day? No. Outstanding. Seeing as how I just released a mayonnaise jar full of lice, fleas and deer ticks into your bedroom's open window. I just poured linseed oil into your gas tank. By god, I pity the poor souls who don't have a nemesis.
- Tags: Karen, Milkman Dan
-
Comics,
Red Meat
Jul 7, 2015
-
-
-
By Max Cannon
- I like bein' out of town, but it's always way harder to fall asleep in a new bed. Especially when you've busted into a total stranger's apartment and ate a whole bag of coffee beans.
- Tags: Bug-Eyed Earl
-
Comics,
Red Meat
Jul 28, 2015
-
-
-
By Max Cannon
- So, Doc... can you help me out or not? No, I can't, Ted, this issue is now outside of my legal sanction to practice medicine. Well, what do you suggest I do, then? I'll say it again: I'm not legally authorized to assist you in any way. But you were the one who wrote me a prescription for a medical mustache only three months ago. True. But now with the state 'stache law repealed, you'll have to go back to some sleazy street dealer for grooming wax.
- Tags: Ted Johnson
-
Comics,
Red Meat
Feb 10, 2015
-
-
-
By Max Cannon
- If I could have only one magical wish, it would be to have cat's eyes — so's I could freak everybody out whenever they see me. BLOING!! Not only did I just waste a perfectly good wish... I need to find me a big box of poopin' sand pretty quick.
- Tags: Bug-Eyed Earl
-
Comics,
Red Meat
Jul 29, 2014
-
-
-
By Max Cannon
- Hey, Dad... what was your grandpa like? He was a wonderfully eccentric man. He probably would have lived to be 100 if he hadn't been torn apart by a herd of giraffes. Ha. Giraffes don't eat people, Dad. That's what we thought, until we put him up on that fifteen-foot ladder after rolling him in acacia sap and fresh mimosa leaves.
- Tags: Ted Johnson, Ted's Son
-
Comics,
Red Meat
Jun 17, 2014
-
-
-
By Max Cannon
- Hey, Papa Moai... did those flyers you asked me to put up all over town every help you find that missing cat? Well, let's just say that I received a large number of "helpful" phone calls. I don't get it. They couldn't have been very helpful if you never found your cat. I have never owned a cat, William. However, my fur jacket is nearly complete. Would you care for some delicious paté on a water cracker? I make it myself.
- Tags: Papa Moai, Ted's Son