Don't talk...just listen, Milkman Dan. I'm you from ten years in the future and I've come back through time to enlist your aid in averting a tragic event. Will you help? Good heavens, this is thrilling. What's our mission, Future Me? This might sound crazy, but you are about to spill a can of beer. This seemingly trivial accident will cause a small, yet profound, ripple in the greater time-space continuum. No doubt this ripple would lead to dire consequences for future humanity? Nice try Myself, but you pulled this same bit on me about a year ago. You're just joyriding around in your time machine, scamming booze from the primitives. Ha! Guilty as charged. Hahaha! I can barely wait.
I'd been thinkin' about takin' up hiking for awhile, but I didn't have no extra cash to buy no proper clothes or gear for doin' it. ... But seein' as that trucker who picked me up hitchhikin' drugged me and left me here in the middle of the woods... No time like the present.
