Ted... have you seen the kids? They're not in their beds, and they never wake up this early. They wanted to sleep up in the tree house last night, so I said it was all right. We don't have a tree house. Actually, I haven't gotten around to building it just yet, but they were both anxious to practice for when it's there. I don't see how... oh, my god! They're hanging from the tree in sleeping bags, squirming around and yelling for help. Do something, Ted! Don't worry. I assured them I'd cut them down at dawn. Let me get a cup of coffee or two in me and then I'll grab the ladder.
Honestly, Ted. I paid a lot for these nice silk boxer shorts... and you won't even wear them. Nothing personal, honey. I just don't like the way they get all crinkled up and shiny looking in the morning sun. It's purely an aesthetic issue for me. Fair enough. However, would you at least consider putting some type of garment on the lower half of your body? Not if it compromises the complex interplay of light and shadow over the rich terrain of my alabaster lap.
Okay, Dwight... back 'er up real slow, then go ahead an' hit them hydraulics an' dump the whole load right here next tuh th' fence. That'll do 'er right there, Dwight. Thanks. POOMF! Whut kind'a fertilizer is this, Boss? It don't smell like th' regular manure we been usin'. Ain't fertilizer... it's cocoa powder. I'm makin' up a mess'a white mousse-filled chocolate boxes as a treat for you boys. Those sound real purty. All us hired hands shore do like them fancy dee-zurts'a yours.
I got me some scissors an' cut a pair'a holes in the fronts of all my t-shirts. Now I'm thinkin' I should do it with my janitor uniform, too. That way I won't have to keep changin' to come outside and wet nurse this shoebox full'a stray kittens I found in the alleyway.
Ted, are you going to sit in that tub all day? If I have to, sweetheart... yes. It isn't easy to train a squad of crawfish to disarm an underwater explosive device. What...?!? Relax. I'm using an alarm clock taped to a pack of hot dogs as a simulation. However, they seem more interested in eating whatever's between my toes.
