Here's the deal in a nutshell, folks. It's probably not what you'll want to hear, but I'm going to give it to you straight. All of you here in sales are going to be replaced over the next two days with a biologically-engineered, sentient jelly. Is this some kind of joke? I wish it was, Glenn. But this came directly from corporate last night. So, are we going to be transferred to another division or something? No, you'll stay right here. You see, we're going to have to allow the "jelly" to slowly consume each one of you, so that it can absorb your knowledge and personality.
I hate this, Milkman Dan. All the other kids tease me because I'm the smallest kid in the third grade. Gosh... that's a tough one for me, little lady. You see, I was always among the biggest, and I fondly recall how much enjoyment I got out of picking on the shrimpy kids. So, surely you can understand that I'm psychologically torn between offering words of comfort and maintaining my dominant rank in the social hierarchy. Tell you what... how about I let you off easy this time with a mild 'Indian Burn'?
Re: “pecking order puncture wounds”
I think "Injun" Burn might be more appropriate. That way everybody can be offended.