Honey... I think our bathroom scale is broken. It says I've gained twenty pounds, but that just can't be right. Maybe it is, Ted... Do any of your pants still fit? Not by a long shot, but these yoga pants of yours fit me like a glove. Fine... you can wear them to work, but take off my pumps before you head out.
You know that old sayin' they got about buildin' a better mousetrap? Well, I been workin' on it all day. One thing's for sure. It don't involve a blender, a hunk of cheddar, and a miniature ladder.
I don't know about you, but I get at least a couple'a these religious types knockin' at my front door every week. I used'ta invite 'em inside, but I don't got that luxury no more. That chain link holdin' pen in the basement is already full to the top.
